It hit me like a ton of bricks.

This morning, I read a tweet from Lecrae, a Christian rap artist that said “Most of us, if we’re honest, are protecting our selfish desires when we question God’s authority.”  It hit me like a ton of bricks. Think back to every time you’ve questioned God. Is it for the greater good of all? Is it to please the Lord? Is it to further His kingdom? Or was it for your comfort, benefit, pleasure?

I know this full well. And still I sit here and I say “Why, God? WHY? Why have you allowed this to happen?”

Someone I know has died. A young man. A tragic death.

WHY GOD? WHY? And it hurts. And my heart breaks for his family, for those of whom I’m closer to than I was to him. And God is good? Sometimes it’s hard to remind ourselves of that, especially in situations like this. Where is the good in this, Lord? What is  your plan? You must have one, right?!

I remember feeling this way back in September when a dear friend of mine passed away. I cried and cried and cried. And I didn’t understand how such an awesome kid could die so soon. Two months later, his entire family accepted Christ as their Savior. This resulted in tears too (on the light rail, in public, nonetheless.) YES, GOD IS GOOD. God knew what He was doing. Although I still miss Matthew so much, I know that God totally had a plan.

I’m reminded of the story of Joseph, in the bible. Joseph’s brothers sold him into slavery. I imagine Joseph might have asked God the same question: “if you’re so good, why is this happening to me?!” Little did he know, the story would end with Joseph in a high enough position to ensure his family enough food to last through one of (if not thee) greatest famine in all of history. When Joseph’s brothers tried to apologize to him, Joseph said: “‘Don’t be afraid. Am I in the place of God? You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. So then, don’t be afraid. I will provide for you and your children.’ And he reassured them and spoke kindly to them.” (Genesis 50:19-21). God allowed pain, because He knew it would bring a greater good.

With Matthew, God allowed pain, because He knew it would bring a greater good.

And I’m certain, as I sit here with a heart full of sorrow and also filled with hope, that not only will God provide comfort for Tanner’s family, but that God has a greater good in store.

To Tanner’s friends and family: I will be fervently praying for you. May God wrap you in love and give you peace. And may you never forget, that when you weep, your Father weeps with you. He feels your pain. Because he loves you.

Kendra Leigh Worsnup

  1. Ryan Rogers said:

    Ephesians 2

  2. Daddy said:

    Kendra, you are wise beyond your years. I was touched by your tremendous faith and poetry of your writing. You are an amazing young woman and I’m truly honered to be your Dad.

  3. Rich said:

    We are not always privy to God’s plan for us in this life; that also goes for the “bigger picture” that all of this fits in together. You may want to check out the book of Job. (Here’s a link to a nice synopsis: ) I find it a tremendous inspiration to read of the faithful servant of God put to the test by his misfortune at God’s hands. The book of Job addresses the question of why “Bad things” happen to “good people”… the wisdom of which certainly transcends anything human intellect can comprehend.

  4. papa said:

    Wonderful insight, my love.

  5. Kevin Olson said:

    Kendra – Tanner’s uncle Kevin here…we so much appreciate your inspiration and encouragement as we sort through Tanner’s passing from this life to eternity in Heaven. We praise God for the faith and love his parents and his grandparents passed onto him. Because of it, we know Tanner is in Heaven today. His time among us was too short, but we know he’s free now. On behalf of his parents and sisters, thank you.

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